After posting my slave’s testimonial on his findom addiction I received a gazillion of messages, people asking me about this slave t, even a submissive’s gf asked me advice about how she can make her sub spoil her more. I haven’t even replied to her because I was puzzled by the question but I thought I should write about this here so that I avoid further questions and bring my some clarifications about my side of this findom story.
The findom cliche
First of all I think “findom” has become some kind of a cliche and in spite of that I must admit I still use this hashtag often on twitter and on my profiles, just because of lack of inspiration, I don’t know what other word to use to reveal my greedy nature, and that is: my love for pretty little things that bring me so much joy, just like shoes, jewellery, nice leather outfits and other sexy luxurious things. I do love to shop, travel and enjoy my life to the fullest so I think the word pretty much describes what I like and the way I am like a person…Some might call this kind of person a “bitch” but I wouldn’t go that far, I think when it comes to me, I can be called an independent and at the same time a spoiled woman.
A spoiled mistress
I want to reply to that message I received from that sub’s gf asking me how she can get spoiled more. The reason I didn’t answer in the first place was because I didn’t know what to say then. I don’t think there’s a secret to this. If that sub is a giver, and the mistress is a good receiver, then we have a good findom relationship. I think it has to be in the sub’s nature to like to give, and in the mistress’ personality to like to receive. There are women out there that are so independent they wouldn’t receive anything just out of pride. I’ve always liked to be shown appreciation and respect and receive a nice gift or a tribute as a sign of that. I find it thoughtful and I think it’s in the nature of a man to make a woman happy. As for me…it’s easy, shoes make me happy.
My take on findom definition
In my view, what it really means: as a woman letting yourself pampered, why I use “let” because in this century women are independent, skilled, trained, educated enough to get things for themselves, so you just accept a gift, although you could get that thing yourself. Of course there are women out there who are very proud to pay the check in a restaurant …or half of it, bragging about doing it, and there are women bragging about getting gifts. I would say about myself I got most of the things myself, until I got to the point of accepting the gifts, which is nice, I love being spoiled. It makes me feel like a Goddess. And everyone knows that the way to my heart is through my (red) soles.
Mistress in pink
Yes I’m dominant but I like color pink also. I try to be myself so much, to always wear what I feel like, to do as I want to, without constraints..I don’t play a role online, it is who I am that is why I wear the most diversified outfits, partially because I hate being predictable, and partially because I dress according to my mood that day.
And I like to think I’m bold enough to show every day more of who I am, what I like, even if it’s pink shoes or pink outfits, I am still a Dominatrix.
The independent Findomme
Pink or not… I also get things for myself. You get a nice sensation when you do stuff for yourself as a woman. I don t think anyone who isn’t independent at first could ever get a gift or someone’ s appreciation (at least not mine) just because you tend to be around people whom you value and appreciate their way of being before you decide to give away of your time and money on them. I don t think everyone shares my views, but that’s how I see it. Findom is totally an exchange, You give me a gift I give you my attention …or lack of attention as in ’ignore sessions’
The findom/ignore sessions
There are guys out there turned on by ignore sessions where the mistress supposedly doesn’t do anything and she receives money. But without bulshitting anyone…that’s some kind of attention too, the chat host is online, has chosen not to go anywhere, not do anything else… yet she’s online with someone who wants to be… ignored. You give and you feel good or bad for the act of giving, but you feel excited about tributing the findomme who doesn’t really need your tribute but she accepts it anyway and decides to simply ignore you. You are unimportant to her but you still manage to find a place at her feet, through the many slaves she has, she can ignore you and write a blog post like I am doing now as my foot slave is worshipping the pretty pedicured toes coming out of my sexy sandals.
My webcam is strategically placed under the desk so that my sub can get on his knees and serve Me properly. He is actually happy to be ignored, and don’t get me wrong… I am happy too 🙂
I joke about this from time to time, saying that findom happens every day… I’ ve been “findommed” every time I got into a make up store and saw stuff I didn t need which glittered somehow differently than my other shiny stuff which overflows from my make up drawers. Some would say I can’t compare the two things, but nobody knows what I feel like when I get pretty trivial things and how excited they’re getting me each time. Bottom line is: everybody likes to spend money on different things, some guys just like to spend more on findommes. We live to experience, have our senses stimulated, to dream, give, spend and start all over the next day. The cliche of life. So this gets me to say…find what makes you feel alive and (just) do it. Even if that’s findom, or shopping or …whatever.