I didn’t know what to name this post, but here are some things about me I wouldn’t normally talk about. So here it goes:
why I do this
Is a question I hear pretty often and here is a chance to write about it so I don’t have to write the answers as often as it would normally be necessary. I chose to do this (webcam thing) because it gives me independence, I can control my life, my schedule, not have a boss or anyone telling me what to do. Financial independence would be something else, but that I would have had by doing anything I would have set up my mind to do. But the freedom it gives me is important to me so I can travel and do all the things that are called superficial.
I love feeling and looking pretty, being dressed up and wearing nice shoes, I also love nice conversations and open minded people so all of these things are checked when doing this.
I remember first time I opened a computer that actually had internet on it first thing I did was looking for chats, during that time there was just one, I did that for years before I actually found actually chat sites. But That comes to verify my motivations and choices and all that. Back when I was younger I used to have pen pals from all over the world but who am I kidding …mostly Europe.haha There was this lady who used to be a model and sent me pics of her in lingerie (from back when she was younger lol) I was like…WTF but I didn t complain of course. Then there were guys who sent me pics of them riding their horse, playing the piano, mountain climbing…like trying to pose as the perfect guy out there. That was many years ago. Now they play piano live for me on cam. Or play the drums, or….well other things too. But I hope you get my point.
Things I’ve learned while doing this:
-you can’t judge a book by its cover or by what you think it’s gonna be without reading or actually looking through it. Just like you can’t judge a pair of shoes by looking at the box, as beautiful as the packaging might be, you put the shoes on and walk in them.
What I mean is you look at a person and you think ….well something that is really not accurate. You judge them by their appearance, social status, function, or other stuff like that thinking you’ve got them all figured out. Judging them by their profession in order to find out how respectable they are, or thinking they’re not so respectable if they’re doing something unconventional let’s say…webcamming. could be all the way round as I’ve met people from all social categories and their job doesn’t really mean anything when it comes to who they are as a person. But that’s what I found out myself since I’ve been doing this.
-you can be great, fabulous, magnificent no matter your sexual orientation or sexual preferences and fetishes. You could be the weirdest person sexually in the world and still be the best person out there. Actually the more you act upon your desires (making sure they don’t hurt others—unless it’s consensual), and at least talk about them, or role play, the better it is for you as a person, especially in society. I heard once a very smart author saying that the more people take care of their sexual needs the saner they are and the more society benefits out of it. The point is don’t be afraid to be different….And I would add…don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re disliked. Who cares if someone that doesn’t know you doesn’t like you or even worse if someone you know dislikes you, you’re better off without them. My favorite quote is:
People are trying so hard to to do things they don’t like to impress people that don’t even like them.
Why all go through all this trouble? I find that this book really covers everything on this, making its point brilliantly.
-people need to be listened to, without being judged, accepted as they are
-people spend time with people they like, based on chemistry and not just looks, hair/eye color or other similar things
-all people engaging in chats have things in common, sometimes on intellectual level, emotional, sexual or even molecular if you believe in meta physic stuff.
Who we really are
I don’t identify with what I do. Sometimes I feel I’m a researcher being sent out on a field trip to just test things out.
Even if my life revolves around this, I don’t think this defines me. I do like being a chat host and I feel happy I can be part of this…on the field. I do have fun doing this, I’ve met some wonderful people along the way. Even though you’d think that in Bdsm the dominant is …well dominant, and the submissive just a submissive, but when the scene or role play is over, you are left with 2 normal persons, masks are off, and it’s just a normal interaction, which you like or you don’t, based on chemistry.
But no matter what you choose to do in your life, at the end of the day you
should know you’re more than your skills and profession. You’re a human being after all no matter what you chose
to do. I hope that by writing this (although this wasn’t my intention when I started writing this) I will help everyone out there understand chat hosts better and treat them better. We have feelings, we get angry too when we’re not respected. Of course it all comes down to how every one leads their lives and to the values they have, and the way they manage to come across to other people and get that respect from them.
But I think it also helps when you go online with a vision of a pleasant (pleasurable too) environment, and with a respectful attitude, not taking everything for granted. Most chat hosts go online for a few years and then they just retire out of this. Maybe you’ll end up missing the person and regretting you were not nicer to them. I am writing this because I’ve come across a great variety of people, some of them nice, some of them not so nice.
But I know the struggle of putting up with bad attitude. It’s not easy to get through that and focus on what really matters, even if it seems like the right thing to do. I think being a chat host and not just that, I think being a successful human being is all about patience and common sense. (which is obviously not so common) It also comes down to how much you know to appreciate the nice things and the nice people in your life.
The most important thing I ve learned doing this unconventional thing is patience. I’ve learned to develop it in time, because as a person I am very impulsive, I need to act, I need to see results right away, I need to be independent and not be led. Patience is key when you feel you’re losing it. Not relying on other persons or things to give you what it takes to go on is key. Those who have it are leaders. Those who can self regulate their emotions and go on even if it feels hard. Because maybe you don’t know that the hardest thing you haven’t even experienced yet. But if you have the patience you can carry on …on your path you will find out. You find out if your story has a happy ending or not. Or if you see the rainbow when you get to the top of the mountain like in my case, on one of my trips.
I know this is not what you would have normally expected to find on a femdom blog, but this is why it’s a blog, so I can write on anything that crosses my mind. I got out of my comfort zone to talk about things I don’t normally talk about but I took a friends’ advice to start writing, and since he didn’t mention what to write about but I felt like starting with the basic stuff, especially since I get asked about these things a lot.