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What follows is something so true that I just needed to post here for you to read. It’s simply a brilliant review of this movie no one should ever have to watch. Not even as a punishment!

“Fifty Shades of Misconception: Miss Demeanour’s Honest and Candid Review of Fifty Shades of Grey…

*WARNING SPOILERS*

As an avid reader and something of a kinky bitch, I love BDSM themed erotica and have done for many years. So when Fifty Shades of Grey was released and suddenly all my straight laced, vanilla friends were loving it, I thought ‘Wow, this has got to be a good thing right?’ I don’t know about anyone else, but I was bitterly disappointed.

I know, I know, that’s borederline blasphemous to all you Fifty Shades fans, but I can’t help feeling bemused by the phenomenon it’s become.

I’m no literary genius by any standard, so I wouldn’t even attempt to pick at the author’s storytelling ability and/or grammar skills that she’s often come under fire for. For me it was the BDSM aspect that just felt all wrong. Of course, D/s is a very personal and individual thing and everyone’s interpretation of BDSM is different. It was never going to please everyone, but it’s popularity among women all over the world spoke volumes to me.

Inner submissives were crying out for their very own Mr Grey on every continent so of course I had to see what it was all about. After forcing my way through the first book, I consoled myself with the fact that the film HAD to be better, right?! Hmmmm…well it was, to a degree.

It was better in the sense that I didn’t have to read that god forsaken contract 20 times over and I was somewhat impressed by a few of the sexy scenes. There’s no full frontal nudity of course, but you do get to see some bush and quite a few fully nude shots from behind.

There’s some light cropping, flogging, bondage, suspension and blindfolding that were tastefully shot. If you can tolerate all the drivel in between the mediocre kink then yes it’s worth going to see.

However if, like me, you are passionate about your BDSM lifestyle then I would avoid this film at all costs. If actor Jamie Dornan’s comments about the lifestyle weren’t bad enough, it’s obvious to me the man doesn’t possess a Dominant bone in his body, nor did he bother to commit himself to researching his role properly. (more…)